Penis Envy

Well I talked all about poop the other day seems only fair that I talk about pee now. I have to say the only time I ever have penis envy is men's ability to just whip it out and relieve themselves. Other then that - I really have never wanted my own penis.

Some women have a great ability to pee in odd situations. My friend Deb was always able to pee anywhere. And she did. Road trips or bush parties while we were underage. She would just pull down her pants and squat and be done with like that. I had no control over the flow - I would have to actually take off my underwear and pants and still I would end up with pee on my leg. This put a serious crimp in my underage drinking. My 9 year old neice actually can pee standing up and seems to do this in public restrooms all the time. She can actually aim and everything. She hates to take the time to sit down even at home.

Well I have leveled the playing field now. I bought these things called pee mates. Now I don't really spend time going to bush parties anymore or walking around drinking slupees laced with rum, but I have been in way too many icky bathrooms hovering over the toilet trying not to make contact with the seat. It is quite a feat to try to maintain muscle control to hover and still release to actually urinate. I found these at Desjardins pharmacy in the market here in Ottawa, but they sell them online as well. They are $5 for 5 of them. Not cheap but I would gladly pay that when I am faced with a road trip and no bathroom in sight. And the bonus is you don't actually have to undress to do it. Wooo Hooo!

There is also a reusable product called the travel mate. It looks like a medicine spoon with a hole in the end. Seems a little more risky to me with placement positioning and all that.

Anyway this winter I may just be writing my name in the snow. ;-)